Waiting on You

The one I desire
I should know better
Coming down to the wire
Becoming clever

My heart has been tainted
Broken, battered, and torn
My belief in men is shaken
Any hope left has been taken

I sit and wait like never before
Waiting for you to appear
For you to walk through that door
But just as I had feared…

My heart breaks again
Waiting for you is a mistake
Just like all the other men
You’ve caused my heart to break

9/26/09
JLK

Broken

My heart is breaking
‘Cause every word is true
Everyone else was faking
And I’m tired and through

I need time to mend this feeling
Of needing to be the one
This life bears no real meaning
It holds no essence of fun

I keep looking ahead to find
That everything is a mirage
Nothing can ever be mine
Just a life full of facades

Each day my heart shatters
All over again as the sun rises
You build me up as if it matters
And I throw on my disguise

Yet inside I’m broken
Doubt I can be repaired
With all the words you’ve spoken
I’m still in a pit of despair

Because my heart is breaking
Because every word was true
Everyone else was faking
And sadly I’m tired and I’m through

JLK - 9/24/09

Hidden

Hidden in this black hole
To stay and never leave
Dying an empty soul
While no one grieves

You all move on leaving me
Hidden in this black hole
You can’t understand or see
My time you have stole

But I’m expected to sit still
Just wait for you in the dark
Never wanting my share or fill
Waiting without a spark

I’ll die alone waiting for acceptance
Waiting to belong inside you
Enduring this sufferance
Until this life is through

JLK
9/22/09

Fearless

My heart breaks
Knowing that you know
How my heart aches
And is afraid to grow

You’ve known all along
How I ache to sit here
All these years alone
Feeling like you didn’t care

My secret is out
The pain illuminated
No need to mope about
Or to feel suffocated

All this loneliness
That was buried within
Released with the bitterness
No longer guilty as sin

Always hiding in the shadows
Afraid to be seen and heard
Forever staring out the windows
Lines no longer blurred

It’s not a crime to cry
To want to belong
To not have to ask why
Or worry to be wrong

To be welcomed with open arms
Not to fear of what is thought
To be able to be calm
To fall and know you’ll be caught

Yet I’m still sad that you knew
And didn’t offer a hand
To know you see it from my view
That someone understands

I wouldn’t have to feel alone
The pain so deep I sobbed
Yet with the pain I have grown
And still I feel robbed

I could’ve been fearless
I learned how on my own
There is no bitterness
For how you have helped me grow

JLK
9/18/09

Winds of Change

Open the window
Crawl inside
Winds of change blow
Never you mind

Creep in through the back
Sneak into your heart
I carry on with the sneak attack
It began from the start

It overwhelmed me
Without me knowing
But you can see
Winds of change are blowing

Let me crawl beside you
Lay next to you in bed
Such a different view
With you inside my head

JLK
9/17/09

Silence

Your silence breaks my heart
Making it impossible to mend
I’m been shattered and broken apart
My lost heart thought it found a friend

You say you don’t want to hurt me
That you love me and we have a bond
But you can’t understand or fully see
Over this and how deep into the beyond

There is this strong pull to you
I can never stay upset
No matter what you put me through
You are something I’ll never regret

Your silence cuts through my soul
Tearing me to pieces
Something you should know
My love for you decreases

It aches me to have to admit
Brings tears to my eyes
This addiction I’ve got to quit
Stop living this lie

Shattering me apart bit by bit
Crushing me to the bone
I think it’s time to begin this split
I’d rather be alone

JLK
9-16-09

The Possibility of You

The possibility of you
Warms me up completely
I need to get through
And over you neatly

But you come into my dreams
Sweetly kissing my neck
When I awake I scream
You’re not there and I’m a wreck

Yet that day goes by a smile on my face
And you’re always in my mind
You are never in one single place
Someone I cannot seem to find

Somehow the possibility of you
Warms my heart and soul
I need to move on and find someone new
And I know I can’t let you go

9-15-09
JLK

Vampire of my Soul

I invite you in
You steal my soul
The best way to live
Best feeling I know

Yet you disappear from me
My heart yearning for more
I can hardly bare to see
What living life without you is for

Yet you sneak back through
I fall for you yet again, harder
Producing more love for you
Wondering when this all started

But you come and go
Never allowing yourself to fall deep
I have few ways to show
Only touching you in my sleep

So you flitter into my world
Making me long for you more
Leaving me so unfurled
Wanting to be the one you adore

Yet I invite you into my sight
With an open heart and open mind
I know what I’m doing isn’t right
But it’s the best feeling I can find

JLK
9/15/09

Meltdown...

Kisses upon my neck
Trailing down my skin
Somehow I cannot forget
This evil sin

Wanting you here with me
Never getting enough
How can I make you see
Sleeping alone is getting rough

Your voice makes me grin
Just the hint of attention
Overflows my head with sin
Bringing thoughts of aggression

Yet we are separate and always connected
The bond can never be torn
Only slightly adjusted and perfected
Never tattered, never torn

I bend with ease
When you appear to me
I go with the breeze
With weakened knees

Wanting you here with me
Never getting enough
How can I make you see
That sleeping alone is getting rough

JLK 9-14-09

My Journey

You can’t fault me for everything I’ve done
I has helped me along my journey
To be the woman I’ve become
Even though you’ve seen through me

All this time my heart has shattered and mended
Hidden within myself I nursed it alone
I never thought of the transcendence
Held myself back while everyone had grown

Body and soul were always weak
Needing a helping hand
Yet I sat there meek
No one to understand

Bad choices, yes I’ve made my share
But I wouldn’t change a thing
This is my journey, just so that you’re aware
I can allow you in or leave you wondering

9/3/09
JLK

Goodbye Again

I see your bags are packed and your ready to go

I know you need to leave so I'll open the door

You've walked on my heart one last time

So with a smile I forget all your sweet little rhymes



I loved you- you threw it away

When I saw you with her just the other day

I told you time and time again

I refuse to let you be that kind of man



You're not going to break me

and I know you wish you were letting me free

But my how nice it is to be on this side?

With me not caring how you feel inside



You tore me to pieces the first, second and third time

when I caught you committing your little *love* crimes

But you lied and waltzed back into my heart

and mended back the pieces that had broken apart



You must've did something wrong

You mended my heart back together and made me strong

Now I can watch you leave me with a smile

and know that I can make that last mile



Sure it takes me awhile to learn

and I know I need the fire within me to burn

Sure I can look back at this and maybe I'll weep

but I know I can make it through tonight without losing sleep

©2001 JoAnn Kornatowski

Memories

Memories flood this head of mine

Never leaving me alone giving me the time

I need to heal this heavy heart

Always breaking it apart



My thoughts reel back to you

Whenever my work day is through

The songs remind me of how you made me feel

The feeling of being a woman in love of being real



You brought my lonesome life alive

Gave me some sense of glorious pride

Made me feel loved and a sense of being

And when I left the thought never fleeted



I still carry those feelings with me

Yet I feel incredibly lonely

But it's only something you can mend

Just a lovely thought floating in my head



Joeann L. Hunter 1/28/04

Lonely & Down

Lonely and down

Until you come round

You make me smile

Brighten my darkest mile



You don't know

How my smile grows

When you step in

Just with a silly grin



How you sigh

How you say goodbye

You brighten me so

More than you know



Lonely and down

When you're not around

Brighten my mile

With a glimpse of your smile

© Joeann L. Hunter

Someone

Sometimes the world closes in

And all you need is a decent friend

Or someone to tell you that you're incredible

That your heart is wonderful

Some one to say they don't mind your morning breath

Someone to say stay in bed and rest

A hand to hold your heart

And you dread to be apart

So many dreams that faded

My heart feels jaded

I need a hand to hold my heart

Someone who cares from the start

Joeann L. Hunter - 7/7/06

Sadness

There's someone I miss, With my entire being

The sweetness,The way the phone rings

Makes me sad, It tears me apart

I know it was bad, For my heart

He made me smile, Brighter than I ever did

It's been a while, Since I smiled that big

I know it's better, This is the way

A simple love letter, To lighten my day

Is all I need, But this will heal

It's a planted seed, Something that's REAL

-Joeann L. Hunter 7/13/06

beLIEve

You convinced me to care - Made me beLIEve that love was there

I fell and got wrapped up - and here I am feeling dumped

My heart wasn't broken - It never got the chance to be awoken

I believed the manipulations - Waited in like for anticipation

But my sails lost the wind - The day I found she had him

You went about clueless - Not knowing the unhappiness

All done by your hands - I can never trust you and you don't understand

My heart has its scars - But this one is large

I thought there was a shard that was pure - But this is one heartache that needs time to cure

- Joeann L. Hunter 7/13/06

Duct Taped Heart

Always the flirts

That tend to hurt

Your heart fills with hope

Then it bursts and you can't cope

The floor beneath you is gone

And you're once again alone

The tease, the taunts

All leave you without

Your heart hurts, it yearns

For something loving to learn

To heal and seal

Something you should'nt have to steal

The flirting is full of explosives

Something no one ever notices

Heal the heart

Before it's torn apart

Grab the duct tape

Before it's too late

- Joeann L. Hunter 7/17/06

Hidden Heart

Avenge a broken heart

Dont let it be torn apart



Hide it from all to see

So it can beat silently



Dont let him get close

He hurts it the most



Covet it deep in your chest

Dont put your heart to the test



It will turn you inside out

Fill your mind with infinity of doubt



Make you love like never before

Make you hate forever more



Avenge your broken heart

Hide it from the start



Hidden from him to see

So it can go on beating silently



Joeann L. Hunter

7/18/06

How Can That Be?

Some things have gone down and I can't understand

How one minute your friends then drawing a line in the sand

Your brains worked as one and how well it lasted

Yet as time goes by your friendship passes

Time well spent, laughs that were shared

Gone in a instant without a care

So sad what happens when friend lie

It causes heartache and bonds wither and die

Years pass on - you find you're alone

Then you scroll a familiar number on your phone

Should you call and rebuild that bridge

But you don't have a reason or a lie you could give

How can you tell that someone you knew so well

That your kids are married and your life's gone to hell

That now you're alone and are in need of a good friend

When that number you dial leads you to a dead end

No new number listed, no one at that name

Your life forever different - it will never be the same

So tell me cause I can't understand

Why there is a line in the sand

You didn't put it there and neither did the other

But it remains there like any other

The wind often blows them away

Yet my heart feels that this time it's here to stay

7/28/06

Joeann L. Hunter

Come Closer

Come Closer

I want to be near you can't you understand

I want your smile aimed at me

I want your hand in mine - can't you see?

My heart wants to be held and shattered

Into a million pieces - as if it didn't matter

I want you to love me as if you can't have me

As if we couldn't live freely

I want that passion that I never knew existed

I want to stand in front of you as you try to resist it

My name should be beating inside of you

Until there's and end of you

Come closer I want you to take my hand

I want you in my life - how can you not understand?

8/14/06

Instant Rush

His hand on my naked flesh

Instant rush - I feel blessed

To know this man who makes me smile

To be by my side every step in every mile

His heart beats into mine

Something I thought I'd never find

The touch of his hand

Reassures me he understands

I feel at peace when I am with him

Pure, unadulterated sin

His hand around my waist

Is the best feeling I've faced

I've never felt this alive before

Never felt that I could soar

His warm hand on my naked flesh

Instant rush of life - I am truly blessed

8/17/06

Turning Tables

Some times you're the giver

Some times you're the taker

The tables always turn around

So grab a seat and sit down

There are days you're walked on

Then there are days you do the walkin'

His lies soon become yours

Then living becomes a chore

You were ruined once - - it's a fact

But is this the way you fight back

The tables constantly turn

Again, it will be your turn to be burned


8/24/06
JLK

Do You Know?

Do you know that behind this smile lays a broken heart
Do You know each time I see you I'm torn apart?
Can you possibly imagine what goes through this head?
Or the dreams that haunt my empty bed?



They are filled with hopes of you
Envisioning one day these dreams will come true
I have had one too many heart aches
and I know what it sounds like when hope breaks



You see I've been there when my heart has been torn in two
I've felt the pain when I've heard the wicked words spoken by you
I know how it feels to be so alone you cry yourself to sleep
and I know how it feels when you can no longer weep



So do you know that behind this smile lies a broken heart?
Can you see how many times it's been torn apart?
Do you know the thoughts that rampage my head?
And the loneliness that haunts me alone in this bed?



Can you heal it and make it end?
Or can't you see it, my friend?
For I am alone and so are you
I need you now more than you ever knew



When the skies are grey and cloudy
They're no longer blue just dark and gloomy
Please don't tell me that you know how I feel
If you can't help me change it and make this pain less real



You claim you think like I do
and a million other things that just aren't true
Your heart and mine are so far from one another,
that I sometimes I wonder why do I bother



But those talks we have I wouldn't take back
And the smiles we share I carry with me like a sack
The memories I have I wouldn't trade for the world
Yet the memories I have bring me into a dream-world


Do you now know that behind this smile is a wounded heart?
That only a dream-world can mend back into one part
And the thoughts that rampage through my head
They now comfort me in this lonely bed...

Written by Yours Truly....
Joeann L. Hunter.....

The Rain

The rain rocks my soul
To a restful sleep
Never will it know
The pain that sits deep


It keeps me sane
It relaxes me
It washes away the pain
Into the sea


The rain soothes
It rocks me to sleep
It has no rules
Or promises to keep


It draws me in
And slows my anger
As the droplets fall on my skin
Keeping me safe away from danger


- Joeann L. Hunter 10/13/01

Disappearing Act

DISAPPEARING ACT

Take me out of the frame

Cut me out – just cut me out

There's nothing to say

I want to shout it out



Remove my name from your lips

Throw away everything

Take your hand off my hips

Destroy this ring



Forget I exist

Erase your thoughts

Move away from where we lived

It's old and our love was false



Pieces of us and our world

Were nothing – are nothing at all

We had each other fooled

That we would outlast them all



Cut me out of your heart

Throw away the key

Tear the pictures apart

So there's no proof of me



I never want to hear your voice

Lose my numbers – don't call

Remember this was your choice

Continue to trash my love against a wall



9/28/06

Unhappy Ending

Am I happy where I am?

Not many changes - not shaken

I'm comfortable in this scam

With my heart not taken



Do I love my life?

Trapped in this glass ball

Do I want to be a wife?

Who knows this after all?



The bomb has yet to explode

My world is slightly intact

With no place to go…

It a sad, sad fact



Do I look for an escape?

A certain type of emotion

Rescuing me from this place

Yes, I have that notion



I am happy where I am

No changes – never shaken

I'm comfortable with this scam

Yet, I feel so forsaken



My heart's been stolen and broken

Like everything else it has mended

With just a small token

Of an unhappy ending



Joeann L. Hunter(Me - PEN NAME)

9/28/06 11:28pm

Disarray

I thought my life would have changed

Not be in this disarray

I feel like a stranger

In my own daze



I'm one person with certain tastes

Then I turn around

I feel it is all a waste

That everything's fallen to the ground



Then I find myself all romantical

Wanting him to come along

Then it's all about being comical

And that's when it feels wrong



I want him – my Mr. Right

I've met a Mr. Ok's…

But they couldn't turn on the light

Inside of me in quite that way



I'm looking for the fairy tale

The true love that is out there

I've heard that love goes stale

And fairy tales aren't here



My knees get bloody when I fall

There's no one to catch me

To stop me when I hit that wall

But maybe one day – we'll see

9/30/06

Support

Crying my eyes out against the wall

Letting it cradle me and catch my fall

My head is throbbing

As I continue sobbing



I cannot take this anymore

I feel like I'm in constant war

The lies and the deceit

I feel I'm always in retreat



Running away in tears

Hiding away my fears

Arguing about this and that

Losing ground here, it's a fact



Not seeing the end result

Only seeing the present, it's my fault

Not being able to breathe

Not being able to be me



I'm sick of being the only one

On this side of the sun

I'm sick of hearing how I'm wrong

I should turn my cheek and get along



I can't erase my beliefs and sit

I cannot look away from this shit

I need to leave, move out of state

It's what I need – it is my inevitable fate.



9/30/06

Cornered

CORNERED

I would love not be backed into a corner

Love to be in love and not scorned

I would enjoy them having this knot

And see how easy it was to be forgotten

The noise in their head and chaos in their chest

Always wondering if they were the pest

Not being annoyed – how wonderful that would be

If only they could understand what it's like to be me

To never have someone to lean on or no one on my side

Always hear bickering or silence when you try to confide

I'm always striving to not care but then I turn cold

To never have anyone listen and always be scolded

I would love someone to hug me and understand

Just someone to be there and hold my empty hand

Or massage my aching heart

To be one piece and not in parts

10/02/06

All That's Wrong

My hands feel dirty with the deeds I have done

My heart hangs heavy with all the things wrong

To look in the mirror and see the hate

All the things that I've not wanted to face

The loneliness that lays in my bed

The echoes of nothing in my head

I see myself as failure completely incomplete

Feeling loneliness all the time - tasting defeat

I ache to break out of it - to be free of you

To feel better about this lonliness and be through

Regardless my heart will ache and my head will pound

Until my final resting day when I lay underground

Joeann L. Hunter

10/23/06

Hopes & Dreams

Whenever I see you my hopes and dreams come rushing back
Even though I thought I lost them on life's beaten track
You brighten my day
Just by the little things that you say



I know this must be infatuation - it can't be love
Because you don't know the heavy heart that I lug
There's so many times I've wanted to tell you
and yet not able to actually have this come true



Life's path is hard and long
And I can't bear to walk it alone
So I place my hopes and dreams in a sack
And continue to walk life's beaten track

The Ghost of Me

Sitting in the ghost of me
Surrounded by memories
The good and the bad
Happiness magnified – that's what I had


It's still hard to believe
That it was my choice to leave
I don't know what to say or write
Except that I sit in this ghost night after night


Trying to find out who I am – better yet who I'll be
Never finding the answer deep inside this ghost of me
Always searching – always haunted
Always reaching – always taunted


Every morning I wake
To be forsaken
And seeing the Ghost in me
Staring right back at me


- Joeann L. Hunter 4/23/01

You Know You Want Me

You know you want me
The stirring is constant down below
You know you want me
and you want me more when the cold wind blows



You know you want me
To feel my lips upon yours
You know you want me
holding your hand as we walk the sandy shores



You know you want me
The feeling is unbearable
You know you want me
when the nights are lonely and you're feeling terrible



You know you want me
To hold you close and tight
You know you want me
holding you through the night



You know you want me
Why don't you just agree
You know you want me
because I wished for thee

JLK

FINE

Don't worry about me

I smile through these tears

Why can't you see

I've been doing it all these years



My heart grows cold by the second

I feel you shred my heart

I know you're just checking

To see how it will start



How I will mend back into one

But I don't move as I smile

I remain still, shocked and shunned

Longing to run that mile



But the tears they run instead

As I feel the pain inside

You continue to shred

Apart my love and pride



10/26/06
JLK

Different Shape of Tears

I cried last night

The tears meant something

All the hurt inside

The pushing and pulling



Different emotions

Pumping in my veins

My devotion

Isn't the same



I'm tired of this skin

Tired of the shame

Exhausted with the pain

I'm quitting this game



I'm not up for the race

But I don't want to walk away

I want to stand in place

And face the next day



The tears were odd

Out of pain, anger and despair

They made me feel like a fraud

Like I'm not even here



11/7/06
JLK

Automatic Tears

I'm missing you already

Yet you are still here

I'll never be ready

For the automatic tears



The memories we've had

The ones yet to be made

Amazing and horribly bad

Black and white even the greys



You're the reason that I breathe

The reason I have my spine

The story behind me

I'm blessed to call you mine



If all of us could only be

Running around this crazy world

Torturing and loving - happily

Taken away it can be in just a twirl



So I'll try to make you proud

Try to love you more than I can

Before there is no more sound

When I can no longer stand



I love you both with all my heart

Being without you both is what I fear

To be completely ripped apart

Forced into automatic tears



11/9/06



*Dedicated to my folks - no lame ass corny comments you all know my parents and my siblings and I love them more than we know. We take life for granted take the days, hours and seconds of happiness we have for granted...

Illusions

The blood in my mouth is because of you

All of the crap you have put us through



The humiliation – you're better than us

We fought so hard to earn your trust



Why did we bother – you are too good

On your pedestal you could never be rude



Your hate and ignorance is all you show

I thought I was evil but what did I know



You make my stomach turn how you throw it away

Maybe it's better off that you disappear one day



Follow the footsteps that were laid out for you

As far as I'm concerned it's best you follow through



Disappear in the lies you choose to believe

You were taught well and the lesson you learned was to leave



Joeann L. Hunter
12-18-06

What I'm Hoping For...

You could've had me

And now it's too late

I've moved on – you see

You've sealed your fate




You missed the chance

To walk with me

To have that dance

Just you wait and see




You could've had me at hello

My heart would've soared

Yet you didn't know

Now it can't be yours




I've met an amazing soul

Who makes my heart soar

I just hope he knows

He's what I'm hoping for

7-22-07

Oil & Water

One likes the other only he can go so far

He never thought of what would happen next

All he knew was that he desired her heart

Ever since the day they had met



He never thought this through

Never assumed it would see the light

That his dream could come true

And now he's a full of a little fright




It's in his galaxy – nearing his grasp

In his face and it's as if he's a child once more

He thought this moment would elapse

That it wasn't what his future had in store




But there's a fear inside growing stronger

He feels his heart beating outside himself

He's not sure if he can stand this any longer

Wondering if it truly is time to take it off the shelf

7-23-07

Unlocked a Piece of Me

I've tied up my emotions for this reason exactly

He makes me think and wonder what it could be

And I torture myself about this madly

Trying to be what he wants – you see




My entire life I've imagined it to be this way

He fits inside of my mind like a puzzle piece

I just want him to be there and to stay

I'm nervous to hear that I won't bring him peace




I don't want to know the truth behind his words

I want to live in this make believe life

Because I know it would leave me disturbed

Bringing back all the pain and strife




To live in this happy bubble to be on cloud nine

To be his beautifully blinded freakshow

Is just perfectly, happily, safely mine

That is beyond what I'll ever truly know




I've locked my heart away so it could go untouched

Yet he somehow snuck deep inside of me

And his small insignificant words mean so much

He strummed the right chords so carefully




I know love and life is far from a fairy tale

And to be whom he wants to share his world

Is all that matters to a heart that has felt failed

Yet he's made my life unfurled

8-1-07 JLK

Thick Air

The air is so thick and it's hard for me to breathe

I look out into the city and wonder where you could be




I think too much and without the strength to continue

I'm going crazy down this broken heart avenue




Spinning in circles I wish I knew what you were thinking

I know I could lose everything just by blinking




It holds me back – my fear and self esteem

It lifts me up when I have those dreams




Just jump go it – go for it is all I hear

But I don't want my courage to be my spear




The thick air surrounds my heart holding me back

I know there has to be something I lack



I curse the day you gave me hope and put this chaos in

The day you called me beautiful burnt through my skin




Savoring that moment is all I can seem to do

Always wondering what will come of I and you



© JLK 8-31-07

History Repeats

Seasons come and seasons go.
A blooming flower to a withering rose.
Spring brings flowers,
while lightning and wind storms bring showers
The cold wind blows
as the winter rains turn to snow.
Then once again Spring
Begins in full swing
Yet again history repeats.
While warming up becomes the feat
Staying warm-then staying cool
while wading in a Summer pool
The circle of life is never complete
for history always repeats.




—Joeann L. Hunter
March 7th, 2000

Love Catches Up

On the days when hope is running low

When my heart is turning a deep dark blue

As it seems the world has nothing to show

I turn to find the hope of you



As the skies darken and my heart creeps down

Loneliness swells to the highest point

My knees are close to hitting the ground

I turn to you and you do not disappoint




My mind may wander and my heart follows

I cannot hold back this wide grinned smile

The thought of you pushes away all of my sorrows

Silly thoughts of me and you all the while




Yet I remember that one day so perfectly

With your words ripping away my wall

You crashed through so swiftly

Made me see that love catches up eventually



JLK - 8-17-07

Autumn View

The rain pours down

While I'm thinking of you

Without a sound

The cold breeze cuts through




The wind whips my hair

Around my face

I'm not with you there

I'm stuck in this place




The rain drips down

Falling onto my skin

The traffic has slowed

All I can think is of him




Wanting his hands

His kisses and touch

Does anyone understand

To want someone this much




But the rain pours over me

And the chill cuts through

As I wonder where could you be

I wander off into the autumn view




My heart concentrates on the wind

The cold harsh breeze and the pouring rain

Your kisses, your touch – our sins

The sorrow and the pain




11/7/06

Blink of an Eye

My eyes drift close as I think of what I've done

As they open I realize I'm coming undone

I'm breaking down just like I have before

Wondering now what life truly has in store



I know I'm not alone in this and my eyes close again

Warmth consumes me as the wind chills my skin

Yet I need to pull myself in and look over this mess

Because I cannot be happy living life in this distress



So I let the wind pull me around for the moment

Let the tears carry me for this time is stolen

The night is quiet and the streets are barren

I stand on the sidewalk looking up and staring



At the few stars I can make out past the clouds

In this stolen city silence the trees seem so loud

I feel something stronger taking hold of my soul

Holding me closer not daring to let go



I feel safer as I break down this time as I have before

I know I'm coming undone as I climb the stairs to the door

Sliding my key into the lock wondering what will come of me

I turn the key and have faith that what will be will be

11/14/07 ©JLK

Still Water

Still water runs deep

The silence is strong

All I want is some sleep

But it all feels so wrong



I need time and space

Far away from here

But it's such a waste

When traveling in despair




I want to sink into his arms

Not the blanket on my bed

I'd like him to keep me warm

And bring sanity to my head




Yet I long to be alone

Sleep the most amazing sleep

But I feel I may turn to stone

This still water is too deep




©JLK

11/17/07

Heart of Despair

We're all a little broken

Looking for some hope

Our voices soft spoken

Just trying to cope



Just a bit shredded

From building the walls

Shaking with dread

While protecting them all




A bit torn from the naysayers

Who nudged at your hand

To lay yet another layer

They will never understand




How you have become broken

In your heart of despair

Your voice is soft spoken

With not a soul that cares




So you bask in the darkness

You shut out the light

You swim in your sickness

Try to fight the good fight




But we're all broken

We're all torn

Our heart is a token

For love scorned



11/23/07

©JLK

Me & Huckabee

Walking down the street

Imaging your hand in mine

Wondering if you'll leave

Or stay until there's no more time





Trying constantly to conceive

How I got to this place

Trying hard to believe

Maybe falling into his grace




Good morning beautiful

Something I dwell upon

It sends me into a lull

I'm turning into the swan




What if I cannot capture his heart

I fear that this will torch me

This will definitely tear me apart

The possibility - Me and Huckabee




©JLK

11/26/07

Nervously Waiting

Too nervous to step into his world

Scared it will all crumble around me

Yet I just might be the girl

Without a doubt or uncertainty




Waiting on the curb nervously waiting

Fidgeting with my nails and my hair

Wondering what is taking so long just anticipating

Sliding my blond locks behind my ear




Wanting him to want me there

Willing it all to fall into place

Wondering why he isn't already here

Saying those words to my face




I know my heart will find its way

It's own road carved by destiny

So I wait for that fateful day

When he will finally see me for me

©JLK – 01-01-08

Within Me

Running through my personal hell

Please say that it cannot be true

Trying to stand after I fell

I'm over my head, what do I do




Clawing my way through dust

Trying to find the light at the end

Looking for someone to trust

Just trying to find a trusted friend




I begin to hope as I see a speck of light

But I slip back into my darkness

Nothing seems or feels right

As I begin to reaffirm my loneliness




I want someone to listen and understand

To finally see through my eyes

For them to tie my shoes and feel how I stand

To get beyond all of the lies




It breaks my heart to lose such a friend

Who brought a smile to my face

Its heart-wrenching to come to this end

And not be in their friendly grace




But I'm over my head there is no end in sight

I won't remain in this darkness, it will not consume me

I need to finally stand inside and be a part of the light

And then maybe I will finally be able to see




My heart leaps in bounds as I see a glimmer

Something that shines deep inside of me

I found that I can sparkle and I can shimmer

I now know I don't need anyone to complete me

©JLK 01-02-08

Loaded Heart

My heart is locked and loaded

Aiming directly at him

I don't know when it was stolen

But it always feels like a sin



So many moments have passed

Where my chance has laid

Directly in my grasp

Now I feel I can't be saved



It's do or die, sink or swim

My heart is no longer mine

It belongs to only him

And I feel it's such a crime



With each beat it's wasted

The silence tends to grow

My lips have never tasted

What my heart can only know

©JLK 1-3-08

My Mistake

The choice is mine now

Do I bend or will I break

I'm not sure where to run or how

Regardless it will be my mistake



Bring him to me my heart pleads

Not knowing what God has in store

Not sure to where it will lead

Unsure of what this life is for




We muddle through with hope in sight

Faith and love are following closely

With a bucket of fear off to the right

To the left wonder resides gloriously




Yet free will was given to us as a gift

The best and the worst hand in hand

Allowing us to choose how to live

Never given the knowledge to understand




So we stumble and fall

We stand slowly and strong

We bust through the walls

And stick our chins up when wrong




The choice is mine now

Will I bend or will I break

I'll never be certain where to run or how

But does it always have to be my mistake




©JLK – 1-2-08

In a Perfect World

Hearts would never break

Dreams would never die

There wouldn't be any mistakes

In a perfect world for you and I



In a perfect world love would remain

And death wouldn't exist

There would be no bloodstains

No need to reminisce




Laughter would be heard

Rather than tears of pain

Everything would be understood

Everyone would be sane




In a perfect world you would stay

Take my hand in yours hold it tight

While guiding me along the way

Making everything seem alright




No questions in our minds

About where we shall go

What we shall find

And what we will know




In a perfect world you would be mine

And my heart wouldn't breaking

You'd be the reason to my shine

And it wouldn't be mistaken




©JLK - 01/07/08

Would You Believe?

Would you believe me if I said I love you

Believe me if I said I that I'd be there

If I said that I can't shake these feelings and they're true

Would you even bother to begin to care?



I wander the streets, my heart twists and turns

My mind always goes back to you

Always threatening to never return

Yet I wonder will I make it through



These dark and fearsome thoughts rule me

Never allowing me to cut the strings and let go

To soar above and beyond, to finally be free

Or sadly learn what I do not want to know



That I do not invade your thoughts at night

Like you do to mine, keeping me awake

Yet it feels so wrong and never right

Like waiting will be a huge mistake



The deepest and darkest valley of my soul

Is scared to pieces you'll walk away

That you will tell me never and no

And my heart will never see the light of day



Yet I know if I never try I can not know

What could've, might've, should've been

Or be brave enough to let go and soar

One day I'll be brave enough I just need to know when



©JLK

01/11/08

This Way

When morning breaks

So does my heart

It was my mistake

To let us part





As I lay here

Alone and silent

Fingers in my hair

Sun shining vibrant




How can it go on

My world has stopped

I feel like a con

Like my heart is a prop




I watch the sun set

In my bed all day

Here's what I don't get

How has he got me this way




From the first breath

The first heart beat

My heart sunk to the depth

Of my soul to my feet




Here I lay waiting, alone

Watching another day

Come and be gone

How did he get me this way?




©JLK

01-13-08

We Walk Like Kings

We walk like Kings...do you?
We walk through the fire together
We see with our third eye in all we do
The music unites our minds and souls forever

In the background we feel the pain
In our hearts we know the ache
The music is blaring in the London rain
and will you be at the young soul's wake?

For each of us who are Kings
We tend to walk proud
And think of many things
While playing their music loud

We sit here and talk back at the ocean
while we are living this semi charmed life
cause the words ring true and I've got this notion
That life will always contain such strife

The wind is blowing and it's summertime
As I see my friends in a crowd of you
When I hear the God of Wine
I reminisce of the concerts that I've been to

The four right chords can make me cry
As the children's voices fade away
Just to know I have someone by my side
To help me deal with this pain

Their music helps us in our time of need
It's nice to know someone thinks as we do
Their blood is the same that we bleed
Because we walk like Kings...do you?



DEDICATED TO THIRD EYE BLIND FOR MAKING ME WALK LIKE A KING

Nowhere to Hide

Things crash

Torn apart

Nothing lasts

Not even a heart



Walls crumble

Aching never ends

Continue to stumble

Around every bend



I'm tired and weak

Can't stand anymore

My heart has a leak

Can't settle a score



I'm exhausted

And torn

I've lost it

I'm worn



Things crash

They shatter

Nothing lasts

Nothing matters



Torn apart

Pain deep inside

Broken heart

Nowhere to hide



JLK © 1/23/08

Step Into the Light

So afraid to move forward

Afraid to stand still

My heart is in constant storage

Yet it has all the will



Step into the light

Break the spell

Somewhere bright

Where I am well



I watch my heart

Beat slowly in my chest

Lonely from the start

This is hardly my best



So I try to move forward

My feet stand still

Always the coward

Never trusting my will

©JLK 02-04-08

After Midnight

After midnight

It all gets so clear

So crisp and bright

There isn't any fear



Everything plays out

As I lay in my bed

There is never any doubt

When it plays out in my head



It all seems like a flick

Yet I know life isn't that way

I wish life worked that quick

Just an escape for which we pay



But only late at night

Everything seems fine again

And slowly after midnight

Do these ideas make sense



©JLK 02/06/08

The Way the Wind Blows

The wind blows through my mind

Forever making it hard to decide

The sense of peace is hard to find

How I feel or where my heart resides



Obstacles appear before me in my path

Making me cautiously wonder

Constantly retracing my tracks

Feeling every single blunder




My heart still yearns for that connection

It still aches passionately for it to be wrong

Curiosity still wonders what is your perfection

As it crumbles around me I will try to be strong




You effortlessly blow through my mind

Around every corner I continue to turn

I marvel if I will ever be so lucky to find

That person for who my soul can burn



©JLK 1-12-08

Think of You

Am I even in your view

A blip on your radar

Cause all I do is think of you

When life gets harder



Other paths I can choose

Other steps I could take

Never thought I'd lose

Or that my heart would break



I can't get you out of my head

Even though I know it isn't right

I could move on, but instead

I feel like sticking it out in this fight



I'm scared and so lost

Spinning alone in this mess

Wondering what will be the cost

Willing to pay the price, I do confess



Images I've played in my mind

Things I've only imagined

I've only just come to find

Images that I might have to abandon



I can't let you go and so scared I might

I feel as if I'll lose me with that release

As I fall helplessly into the dark night

And that my heart could possibly freeze



You've thawed it without even knowing

Allowed it to start beating once again

My heart felt like spring with buds growing

Never dare I look towards other men



But then it becomes too still

My heart hardly beats

Slowly working on the chill

Waiting on my defeat



Other men attempt what you have done

They try to tame my heart

Could they finish what you had begun

Can they figure out the parts



So many images I've played out

Tears have streamed this heart and face

I keep having so much doubt

Wondering if I'll find my place



I want to be in your view

Be the only thing on your radar

Cause I tend to fall into you

And it only gets harder



©JLK

2/14/08

Enjoying the View

I cannot help that my heart

Falls desperately into his hands

It did this on its own from the start

No one seems to understand



The meaning behind my insanity

It's the cause behind my clueless mind

I cannot help it, can't you see

It's my heart I cannot seem to find



It lies in his hands and he doesn't know

As he goes about his life, it beats

These feelings beat stronger as he goes

About his life walking the streets



I cannot help that he holds my heart

That is lies desperately inside of his hands

It did this from the very start

Yet no one seems to understand



I cannot control it, it falls where it will

I wish I could make it do as I desire

To fall into someone else's, but still

I feel I'm walking a long thin wire



I know it will fall and shatter to pieces

I'm looking for something I cannot grasp

There's this thing inside me longing for release

Something I know that will continue to last



But I wonder as I stand on the edge

If I turn around or fall over the side

My heart is sitting on the ledge

Not knowing what to decide



So I'll stand here and wait, enjoying the view

Waiting for the wind to help me decide

Always unsure of what I will do

Certain I will definitely enjoy this ride



©JLK 02-19-08

Fade to Black

Tears are swelling in my eyes

Frustration washes over me

All I can think of are your lies

Wishing you could only see



Wishing the acceptance was there

I hope nothing but the best for you

Yet it’s something you don’t want to hear

Something I doubt I’ll get through



So sit there believing I am wrong

That all these words are full of hate

This road I’ve traveled on so long

It feels as if I’m about to break



Yet again I sit here worrying about you

About your feelings and pushing myself aside

Wondering how you’ll get through

Not worrying about what I feel inside



I’m tired of the games, tired of feeling this

Tired of being thrown off to the side

Tired of feeling like rubbish

Exhausted from the pain inside



The only thing that can fix this mess

Is to walk away and not look back

It’s the only way to bring happiness

To let it all just fade to black



JLK - 4/2/08

The Innocence

Innocence, it fades

While I sit here in the shade

My heart it continues to grow

And only my soul knows



The pain of this loss

The weight of this cross

Happiness, it doesn't last

Forever echoing in my past



Mocking me day by day

Never allowing us to go that way

Back down from where we came

Beyond the rainbow out of this rain



Innocence, it fades away

Happiness gets lost along the way

At the end of the rainbow

A new wind will begin to blow



JLK - 4/26/01

You

You left a stirring

Deep in my soul

You left me yearning

Out of control



You left me lost

Dazed and confused

You left me at the cost

Of betrayed and abused



But I left you go

Knowing there was little to do

But I needed to show

Myself that it was true



But I let you run me down

Throwing words like bricks

And made me feel like a clown

Without any tricks



JLK 4/26/01

Just a Trace

I see your face
And it's just a trace
Of all the harm he's done
And how I wanted to run

Far away from this mess
I'll find myself a new address
He's caused so much pain
But still I love you just the same

If not more, but never less
My love is all I can profess
He's broken hearts, yours too
His continuing unfaithfulness to you

Why can't you see
Who you need to be
To wipe this trace away
And look upon a new day



JLK - 4/26/01

ME

Motivate me

Send me to outerspace

Let it be

Me who gets out of this place



Save me

From becoming more like you

Replenish me

And make me feel new



Break me

And piece me back together

Calm me

And make me feel better



Shake me

Rattle my soul to the core

Surprise me

Sing my song forever more



JLK – 4/26/01

Dedicated to 3EB

I Want You

I want you
Like the summer rain
I want you
To heal my pain

I want you
To make me love
I want you
When push comes to shove

I want you
To hold my hand
I want you
To understand

I want you
I'm sure you've figured it out
I want you
Isn't this what loves about



JLK – 4/26/01

Silence

Silence can't break me

It only changes my vision of you

It can only make me see

What I have put you through



You can only harm my heart

Not tear me down

Or pull my insides apart

Nor throw me around



I've been there and seen it before

I've been forgotten and torn

The one who's claimed love a folklore

But it's only built my wall and left me scorned



Your silence cannot break me

It can only change my vision of you

It can only make me truly see

That your silence means we're through



JLK – 6/2/08

Welcome to Bittersville

Welcome to bittersville

Where frustration runs wild

And life is always still

Happiness is going to take awhile



Here I reside these past few days

In bittersville where my leash is on

I've been trying to find different ways

To rid myself of this path I'm on


A little crack of a smile and summers embrace

Some time spent alone in my own fictitious world

A call from a friend or an email in its place

But all I ever end up is in bittersville


I swear the dark clouds are breaking

My seas once more will be still

I will soon be making

My way out of bittersville


© JLK – 6-12-08

Untitled

Take me as I am scars and all
My wicked sense of humor
Try to help me up when I fall
Even when in a drunken stupor

Enjoy all my little quirks
From breaking apart some tunes
To my incessant need to buy books
As well as my thrill and love of being tattooed

Let me vent, scream or cry
Knowing there's no need for a cure
Never needing to ask why
Or making me feel secure

Just enjoy me it is all I can ask
Don't try and mold me
Or make me part of a task
Then maybe you'll really see

My mind can be narrow
I'm not perfect by any means
I can be selfish and shallow
But my life is not as it seems

My tattoos, quirks, book, my mind,
And let's not forget my scarred heart
Take me as the project you did find
Just don't try to pull me apart

Once you break me it might be for good
The torment might be too much to stand
I might not fit together as neatly as I should
I wouldn't be fixed with the touch of your hand

So take me as I am don't try to adjust me
I am as fragile as I've ever been and my wall is high
I don't think you can truly ever really see
What makes my heart break and my soul sigh



© JLK – 6/16/08

Only In My Dreams

Strange as it may seem
A path that looks easy to follow
Exists only in a dream
Where the heart is hollow

Where there isn't pain
Only love that overflows
We never show our shame
Only sparks of interest show

There are thoughts of despair
When we are awake
Seamless line of unanswered prayers
Every step seems a mistake

But as we drift away
To a place that doesn't breathe
It seems as if our thoughts sway
And we can truly be able to see

This place exists somewhere pure
Only our sleep can take us there
Where innocence alone is secure
Where there is no room for depair

© JLK 6/19/08

The One - I'm Just Fine

You were suppose to be the one
To make me laugh and smile
Not to make me feel completely undone
Not to make the tears go on for miles

Every moment I think I can no longer cry
I tend to break into another session
Then you go on and ask me why
I don't feel I've truly learned my lesson

Worst part is I've hurt you more than you me
Sad part is I still don't know what I desire
Who knows if I ever will truly see
No matter how far away I am I get burned by the fire

I've turned into a stranger in my own world
Not even close to where I want to be
I never meant to be this type of girl
Always on defense and never happy

Always the one to bail them out
Never the one to truly shine
I cannot stand what my life is about
I am sick of always being 'just fine'

You were suppose to be the one
To finally show me the light
The one to introduce me to the sun
The one to make it alright




© JLK 7/1/08

My Pathway

All roads lead to one
I see the pathway very clear
My memory has come undone
Everything seems so near

My heart still aches and yearns
For something that seemed so close
My skin continues to burn
And longs for that wanted touch

I still ache to be held in his arms
To be kissed with another's eyes
Not having to work to be charmed
Never worrying about the lies

All roads lead to one
I see the pathway very clear
My memory has come undone
Everything seems so near

© JLK – 7-9-08

The Life Jacket

I've seen love through others eyes
Seen how love can be corrupted by lies
I've watched it all fall to pieces on the ground
Watched their worlds crumble all around

I've listened to their hearts break
Listened to the sobs that caused them to shake
I've been their life jacket as their sorrow
Consumed them and blocked their tomorrow

To hear the heart shatter in their soft voice
Knowing that someone did this by choice
To alter their faith, love, hope and trust
Making them think that life isn't just

Carrying around a suit full of armor
Waiting for the next to come and harm her
Trying to help them be strong through the next day
Has changed my life in a magnificent way

I know what love should be and where it can be found
Deep within in our hearts not something on the ground
Something that sends you into another universe
Like a princess breaking an ancient old curse

I know the pain of a lost and broken heart
I've felt their dreams being shredded apart
I've collapsed into my bed a million nights
Begging to find somewhere my Mr. Right

A silly girl's dream a woman now holds
In her hands while her life unfolds
Finding the mystery if true love lives
Finding out if there is another heart that gives

Being taught out how to wake up when all you've done is slept
Learning how to smile when all you've done is wept
I know the pain of a lost and broken heart
I've put back the pieces once they've broken apart



©JLK -9-15-08

Heart Beats & Breath

It started with a line
And continued to grow
I added some wine
I doubt anyone will know

My heart is shaken
Tilted and torn
It's been broken
Too many times before

I know things will be okay
As the day ends with glass in hand
This wine tastes better every day
I only hope that someone can understand


My world has always been mine
To let loose and let go is hard
Some where I can't even define
The ride being over before it starts

So I continue to unwind
Heart beats and breath
Until I begin to find
The one who suits me best


I am always at the edge of me
Enjoying the moments flow
When will anyone see
That I'm too afraid to look below



© JLK 9-16-08

Whisper In the Wind

If there weren't so many cars
I could hear the breeze
Why does my heart travel so far
To try to find some ease

I cannot help that my heart yearns
To be some where open and clear
In a field of timothy hay or ferns
Where the calmness is always near

The history, the relaxation, its in the air
Slow pace living is where I want to be
But I live in the city instead of there
Chaos instead of the farm I want to see

Relaxation wrapped around
Breathing life stress free
Nature keeping me on the ground
Where I can be at ease



© JLK 9-17-08

Unfinished

The rain has dampened my firey soul
Nothing feels right in this place so cold
One last kiss was the only gift I could give
Someone with so much fight they can't live

To watch her in this bed an image I've never seen
To stand in these shoes a place I've never been
It aches my soul and rocks my heart
To know that this will tear us apart

Will we be strong enough to weather this storm
When did this clinging pain begin to form
This is the only way I can truly grieve without tears
To write down all my sadness and spill my fears

Things unfinished and never will see
People she'll never meet or see us come to be
Tears will fall and comfort cannot fill this place
The loss of a soul you can never replace



© JLK 9-18-08
Dedicated to Grandma Helena

Time Moves On

I'm wishing it can go back to the way
it was before time stood still
No more than a week, but it seems like yesterday
Knowing the truth still brings on the chills

I feel cheated and burned
By the emptiness I know I fear
For every year has turned
Bringing me no where nearer

The book is closed that edition has been published
We must move on and bring forth the lesson
Of a life so fully lived yet it seems unfinished
We fight to move on as if we are leaden

The loss is heart breaking
To move on seems unlikely
The sound of silence is deafening
Yet time moves on to spite me




© JLK 9-26-08

Upside Down

Erase away this part of me
Don't let it bother you
Obliterate this piece you see
It'll make you happy it's through

Make me view the world as you do
Rip apart my beatless heart
Change my mind to meet your view
As you tear my world apart

Our worlds are no longer the same
The view is bitter and bleak
I don't know who you are or your name
The stench of your heart reaks

You say its one way then flip it around
Making it right to be so wrong
As I continue to stare at the ground
I've awaited this day all along

I knew it would come
Prayed that it might be a lie
To see my world come undone
Wishing it was me who died

You make me fall to my knees
Begging to God this life is a dream
Trying to obliterate this piece of me
Making life nothing what it seemed


© JLK – 10-4-08

Inside Out

I never claimed I was perfect
Only that I was broken
It never really floated to the surface
Yet I guess I should've spoken

You can never "fix" me
You can only hope to turn on the light
I wish you could only see
I wish this hadn't had to be a fight

I never wanted to offend you
Never wanted to let it get this far
Just wanted you to see me through
Wishing on that falling star

I never claimed I was perfect
Not even in the teeniest bit
I always said I was broken
Yet not looking to be fix

JLK-10-14-08

Blinded

I never did deserve someone like you
All I can do is inflict pain
I always wanted someone like you
To chase away the rain

You were definitely too good to be true
Always doing the perfect thing
I never saw past me to you
Always led you on with a string

What wrongs have I done
The turns I've missed while being blind
I've watched it all build and crumble down
When you are what I was trying to find

I allowed my heart to speed faster
Watched it slip through my hands
As it fell to the concrete and crashed
I definitely took you for granted

Where did I go wrong
Will you allow me to go back
It has been so damned long
That is the sad pathetic fact

I never did deserve someone like you
All I ever did was inflict you pain
You deserve more than what I did to you
Someone who can chase away your rain



© JLK – 11-5-08 This person knows who this poem belongs to…

Destiny

Destiny falls from my hand
Time and time again
I don't expect you to understand
How I begin and end

Where I let myself become consumed
With my short time here
How I should feel I should always lose
That I should never begin to care

I allow the bad things in
I bask in the positives as they fall away
The way I live is such a sin
To live my life in this careless way

I try to pack it in and let others shine
I suck it up and do what's right
Never bother with what is mine
Always hoping on the might

I might fall in love might strike it rich
Might write that American novel
Might be happy or be a complete bitch
I might be healthy or have to struggle

But what will become of me
When all I do is look back to the past
Only God knows what lies in destiny
And what is real and what will last



© JLK 11-6-08

Short-N-Sweet

You make me feel invincible
Untouchable, unbreakable, unstoppable
You make me feel loved
Always the center never shoved

You want me around
Right next to you without a frown
You want me and that made my day
There's no words, nothing I can say



© JLK – 11/12/08

Landslide

Please don't say you hate me
Let me save some face
I truly cannot see
How I got to this place

I lost my path in the windstorm
I keep turning around
I'll continue to walk scorned
Never looking to be found

I can't have you hate me
Not someone as marvelous as you
You won't honestly see
That this whole thing is hard to go through

I've been trying to open my heart
Giving it my all with you in mind
I'm not breaking apart
I'm defrosting what's been left behind



© JLK – 11/14/08

Disposable Me

Mold me into what you will
Make me be your assistant
Have my life stand still
Against my resistance

I sit and wait for you
Watch you gain all the praise
Why do I muddle through
Bitterness with me always

If I would muster the courage
To walk out and never look back
Yet I'm always discouraged
Motivation is all I lack

But I allow you to mold me
Turn me into what you need
When will I ever finally see
That everyone is disposable – even me

© JLK 11/14/08

Misfortune's of a Misguided Youth

I never saw the beauty
Until you turned the light on

I never actually claimed to see
The breaking of my dawn

I always thought of the day
When everything would align

Never thought there would be a way
That the failure would be mine

I opened my heart and my eyes
To finally see a hint of truth

Everything I've told myself are lies
Misfortunes of a misguided youth

Thank you for making me see
That I can make it shift and shape

To finally touch what can be
It's the adventure I can't escape


© JLK 11/14/08

Just Being Me

I minimize who I am and the things I do
I try to make it memorable for everyone of you

I try to disappear into the shadows
While I watch my deeds unravel

Viewing it all from a distance
Seeing the results of my persistence

I'm just a person who is looking to please
So that this world will be better when I leave

I want to touch everyone I know
So that they in turn will continue to grow

To inspire so that they can achieve
The pursuits of life we all should receive

I disappear into the shadows
Watching my magic unravel

I minimize who I am and what I do
For the sole purpose of leaving an impression on you

© JLK 11-24-08

For the New Year....(2009)

Another year comes to an end
A new one ready to begin
One door closes another has opened
Happiness has toned down the grief within

Life continues on from one form to the next
Laughter carries us through as some emptiness remains
The spirit of the Holidays tend to make us reflect
On all the thing that we have lost and gained

This time of year whisks us to the past
When we were a child seeing things brightly
When waiting to open presents was a hard task
As our parents teased and asked us to sit patiently

2008 comes to an end
And 2009 is ready to begin
We are surrounded family and friends
Laughter & love will help ring the new year in

© JLK – 12/5/08

Dedicated to the memory of Helena Kornatowski

&

The new beginnings of Parker Kornatowski

Infinite Apologies

I could never make you happy this is true
All I could ever do was turn your golden heart blue

I shouldn’t have broken you like I inevitably did
I should’ve untied my heart rather than let it have hid

Too scared to walk a road I never have known
Too scared to let my heart face the unknown

Too eager to stay safe inside of myself
Too patient to put love back upon the shelf

There is nothing I can say that you haven’t heard before
There is nothing I can do except shut this door

I was trying to come undone and open the walls
But I couldn’t help my fear was too great of this fall

No words can describe who you are to me
Nothing can show you what I truly believe

All I could ever do was destroy your pure heart
All I could try not to do was to tear it apart


But I did as every second passed by
All I can offer is that I didn’t purely try

My intention wasn’t to destroy your heart or soul
It was never to make you out to feel like a fool

It was never my intention I inadvertently did so
By not fully understanding, I’m sorry, I didn’t know

How to love, how to behave or how to handle your heart
I didn’t know how to be careful with it and not break it apart

© JLK – 12-8-08

Beautiful Soul

Swallow up my time
So you can spit me out
Make it feel like a crime
When I’m tossed about

The tears fill my heart
But they don’t escape
My soul gets ripped apart
Leaving me agape

I walk alone on this path
Always with an ache
One plus nothing is the math
Behind the forsaken

So swallow me whole
Make it all disappear
Shred my beautiful soul
Convince me of my fear

© ĴŁҜ – 2-6-09

Transformation

Sitting here reminiscing
Knowing the magic is gone
There is something missing
It all feels right yet wrong

Those feelings once felt
Are definitely altered
Memories no longer make me melt
Over you, I no longer falter

The winds of change moved me
Your image has transformed
I still can’t see clearly
Just see a different form

Moving on makes my soul ache
I know the magic was there
I know it can never be replaced
It questions how much you cared

My heart wishes to be that girl
Naïve, courageous & scared
To fall back into your world
Where I could be dared

To take on anything, do as you ask
Dare the world to come at me
To grab a dragon’s tail in my grasp
To shake the fire from it endlessly

The magic that was there is gone
Only memories bring it back
Somehow you’ve known all along
That I’d get to this impass

My idolizing is done
I take you for who you are
A friend – a confidant
Someone I know from afar

The shimmer has faded
My heart a bit torn
The edges a bit jaded
Forever forlorned


*Dedicated to a friend I’ve had for a decade & have realized we’ve both changed…


©JLK 3/3/09

Winning the Battle

Familiar territory
Lies beneath my feet
Sickening scenery
Appearing, no longer discreet

Laughter has subsided
The heart has fallen
No wrongs have been righted
Everything is still undone

The grey clouds hover
Tempting to roll in
Searching for some cover
Once the rain pours in

No cover is in sight
Sucking in the air
Going to be a tough fight
Dealing with my own fear

Familiar territory
Has to be turned around
The sickening scenery
Always tears me down

Bring back the laughter
The smile to my face
It’s all that I’m after
Just some sun in my space

The fear pulls me deep into
The eye of the storm
Alone here without you
I have to be calm

Head on I’ll fight it all
Alone I’ll weep - afraid
I’ll knock down that wall
Be proud that I stayed

Bravery will win this battle
My heart can pull through
The territory doesn’t matter
It’s something I must do

Familiar territory has advantages
I know the trail to well
It’s something I can truly manage
A tale I’ll live to tell…

© JLK – ..4/13/09..

Storyteller

Weave a web and tell your stories

Leave your mind at the door

Be yourself in all your spectacular glory

Broken hearts will lie on the floor


Sit a spell and calm your soul

Bring the sadness to the surface

What you have cannot be stolen

Bury it deep within your abyss


Become one with who you are

Don’t let anyone try to claim it

Be as original as the stars

Things can bog you down rise above it

Weave many webs and tell all your stories

The sparkle that is set deep in your eyes

Don’t allow yourself to be full of worry

Of what will happen of them and their lies





© JLK 4/24/09